get moving…

…it’s Monday!

And, a rainy Monday here in the Pacific Northwest. Which means we are back to normal winter weather around here. After 5 winters here I think I am finally getting used to the rain. I love to look out my window to our backyard and watch the rain falling through the huge Douglas Firs. I really, really love living in the Pacific Northwest. It is where I am meant to be…for now.

That being said, today feels like a Monday. I am trying to be positive and embrace my new feelings for Monday, but today is tough. I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Today I feel like a Southwest Airlines commercial…I want to get away.

I hoped to get to a morning workout today, but that didn’t happen. I switched up my exercise routine a bit and today was supposed to be a “run” day, but baby girl is drooly, snotty, coughing and can’t go to childcare. So, I decided to go to Stroller Strides…then I looked out at the weather and did not feel like loading the kids into the stroller in a downpour (this was after I got us all dressed and ready to go). So, I had to figure out what we could do at home.

I decided I would try to get the artwork hung in baby girls room. I got up there and decided that the furniture needed to be moved around for the artwork to work (remember I move furniture when I get frustrated). Then I got even more frustrated that I was moving the furniture and not hanging the artwork. Then I got frustrated that the kids were in the way and the room was a mess with toys, artwork and furniture everywhere. Not good.

Here is where we stand…

• No artwork was hung
• The furniture was moved back to where it was when I started this morning
• I am frustrated with myself for getting so frustrated
• Kids are sad
• Poppa is confused (he was working from his home office this morning)

The fact of the matter is I should have just put the kids in the car and gone to Stroller Strides. I always feel better when I exercise in the morning. I am able to get through my day without my frustration level getting too high. We weren’t going to melt in the little bit of rain that we would have encountered on our way from the car to the class. I should know that by now.

Hindsight is 20/20.

Now, I haven’t exercised, I didn’t hang artwork, the kids aren’t happy, the husband isn’t happy, and I am beating myself up for all of it.

I should have remembered to get moving…it’s Monday!

home is…practicing what you preach.

{comfort food} homemade tomato basil soup

Last Thursday was a snow day here in Portland, and I felt like eating tomato soup and grilled cheese for lunch. We were out of good old Campbells tomato soup, so I decided to see if I had what I needed to make it from scratch…and I did!

Here is the recipe I used…

Fresh tomato and basil are the stars of this classic summertime tomato soup recipe. Low-fat milk and light cream cheese keep it healthy.

Yield: 8 servings (serving size: 1 cup soup and 1 bread slice)

Ingredients

• 4  cups  chopped seeded peeled tomato (about 4 large)
• 4  cups  low-sodium tomato juice
• 1/3  cup  fresh basil leaves
• 1  cup  1% low-fat milk
• 1/4  teaspoon  salt
• 1/4  teaspoon  cracked black pepper
• 1/2  cup  (4 ounces) 1/3-less-fat cream cheese, softened
• Basil leaves, thinly sliced (optional)
• 8  (1/2-inch-thick) slices diagonally cut French bread baguette

Preparation

Bring tomato and juice to a boil in a large saucepan. Reduce heat; simmer, uncovered, 30 minutes.

Place tomato mixture and basil in a blender or food processor; process until smooth. Return pureed mixture to pan; stir in milk, salt, and pepper. Add cream cheese, stirring well with a whisk, and cook over medium heat until thick (about 5 minutes). Ladle soup into individual bowls; garnish with sliced basil, if desired. Serve with bread.

NOTE: Refrigerate remaining soup in an airtight container for up to 1 week.

Nutritional Information

Calories: 133 (30% from fat), Fat: 4.4g (sat 2.4g,mono 1.3g,poly 0.4g), Protein: 5.4g, Carbohydrate: 18.7g, Fiber: 1.9g, Cholesterol: 12mg, Iron: 1.5mg, Sodium: 310mg, Calcium: 77mg

Cooking Light, JULY 2000

home is…comfort food on a snow day.

pieces of me: october 2003

A couple of things happened in October 2003.

The first of which was I found out I was pregnant on October 10th. It was not planned or expected. I was terrified to tell Ryan. I had just spent 3 years going back to school for my Interior Design degree. I was looking forward to finding a job. And, financially, we really needed me to be back at work. This was not in our plan.

We met at a parking lot near our home (I can’t remember if we had an appointment at the bank, or if we just met there).  I started crying and told him. He was in shock, but hugged me tight and said it would be okay.

We decided to keep it to ourselves until we had a grasp on it and felt comfortable telling our family and friends.

We never told them.

Later that month I went up to my parents house to spend some time with them. It was a weekday and my dad was home working on some home projects. My mom had been to the doctors that morning for some tests. I could tell something was not right. I finally got them to tell me that my mom had a biopsy to check a lump in her breast. They didn’t want to worry us and were waiting to find out the results of the biopsy before they said anything to my sister or me.

A couple days later my mom called me to tell me she had breast cancer. Sadly, I don’t remember what type, or stage, or the details. All I remember is being in shock.

The realization that life could be created, and possibly taken away, so unexpectedly was a lot to handle.

home is…not being ready for the unexpected.

being a procrastinator (with all the excuses in the world)

Last Friday I told you all that I was going to write about how I use color in my home this Friday.

Well, I should be careful what I promise you all.

I’m not writing about that today.

I need to give that topic a little more thought.  The thing is, I rarely think about HOW I use color in my home.  I just use it. Each home we have lived in has been a little different, and I have used color a little differently in each. I need to pull some old photos, take some new photos, find some inspiration photos and maybe break the post down by home. At any rate, to do the topic justice I need to put a bit more thought into it.

I haven’t had time to do that in the last week.

As you all know, my brother-in-law unexpectedly lost his brother last week. That’s thrown me a bit and my posts took a sort of melancholy tune for a few days. I am so sad for his loss. A lot of you have offered support to me, and I appreciate it. However, I am doing fine…I just am sad for my brother-in-law and his family. They will make it through this, and I am looking forward to seeing them all when I am able to visit in March.

Sadly, we experienced another loss in our extended family. My husbands grandmother passed away yesterday. Again, I am sad that we cannot be there for his family. The service is tomorrow and the timeframe and expense to travel across the country just makes it too difficult for us to be there. I hope that they know we are there in spirit and love them all.

That being said, my little family here in Oregon had a great weekend last weekend and we have had a busy week. Shopping, date night, swimming, hiking, going out for burgers, rollerskating, enjoying a snow day, a mom’s night out for me (we went bowling…so fun), and a fun playdate with friends this morning!

I am hoping to put some effort into my post about how I use color in our home so that I can bring it to you next week, but don’t hold me to it. I’ll admit it, sometimes I am a procrastinator…and I can be a bit flakey.

It’s Friday, the sun is shining (although it is brutally cold for the Pacific Northwest), and I am looking forward to the weekend.

What plans do you all have for the weekend?

home is…being a procrastinator (with all the excuses in the world).

snow day!

Yes!  We got snow!

Not nearly as much as they had originally thought we might, but if we get an inch the schools close down here in Portland!

So, today is a snow day…

We built a snowman.

Threw snowballs.

Shoveled the driveway, sidewalk, and part of the street.

And, enjoyed it while it lasted.

By noon the snow had melted and now is only falling in short bursts to melt on impact.

home is…a snow day!

(I cannot get the formatting to cooperate with me on this post…what a bummer!)

got snow?

We are on snow watch here in the Pacific Northwest.

While the rest of the country has seen their fair share (and more) of snow this winter, we have been experiencing a mild one. Yes, we have had our fair share of rain, but we have had lots of cold days with sunny skies, too.

What we haven’t experienced is snow.

We’ve had a few close calls. Each time we got nothing. Maybe a few big wet flakes, but nothing that stuck.

We are eagerly awaiting snow today. The snow clothes that the kids got for Christmas are waiting to be played in. A school cancellation and snow day is expected for tomorrow. Now all we need is the white stuff!

My friends at higher elevations have texted me to inform me they have snow. We are still on snow watch.

home is…waiting for the snow to fly.

playhouse: phase 1

So, last Friday I was able to get to Costco and pick up the playhouse! I am so excited!

Today the little guy and I took a trip to Costco for some necessities, and we took a look at the playhouse.

While he wanted to climb all over the mammoth playstructure on display next to it I was able to convince him to take a look at the smaller playhouse.

He liked it.

He wanted us to take one home.

This afternoon I had a conversation with the little guy about the playhouse while we were roasting fruit snacks over our imaginary campfire (heating vent).

Me: “That playhouse at Costco was cool, wasn’t it?”

Little Guy: “Yeah. I want one.”

M: “We’ll talk to Poppa about it. Where would we put a playhouse like that?”

LG: “I know! We could put it in the backyard.  We have plenty of room in the grass out there.”

M: “When would you play in it?”

LG: “In the summer.”

M: “What would you do in it?”

LG: “I would play with my little sister-wister.”

The stage is set.

The next step is to get a plan drawn out for the platform in between the trees. I will need to consult my treehouse building books for that one!

home is…being more excited about a playhouse than my kids are!

get moving…

Happiness consists in activity: such is the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool.
~John M. Good

I love moving water.

It is one of the things I love the most about living in the Pacific Northwest.

Whether it is the great Columbia River, the smaller rivers and streams, the Pacific Ocean, or even the falling rain there is moving water everywhere.

A good friend, Mike Gould, once asked me if I stood next to a river which way would I want to instinctively go? Upstream to find out where it started? Or, downstream to see where it ends? What about  you?  Which way would you choose?

home is…being the running stream, not the stagnant pool.

not knowing where to turn

Last week I attended my first Titus coffee at the church where the little guy attends preschool. As I wrote in this post, I was not brought up going to church. We went on occasion, but I think I was brought up to be more spiritual than believing in God.

I still don’t know where I stand. What I do believe is that there is something bigger than us out there…be it God, karma, the universe, whatever.

Back to the Titus coffee…

The subject was a controversial parenting subject which I won’t discuss in detail. There were proverbs quoted, talk about prayer and giving grace, and a lot of things that I did not understand. I had a hard time believing that the subject that we were talking about is actually what God wants us to do, but I was convinced that it might be an effective parenting technique.

All of that being said, I am thinking about turning to God right now. My marriage is being tested and strained, my parenting skills are tested on a daily basis (I am sure the kids are acting out because they feel the stress of mommy and poppa not enjoying eachothers company), there have been things that have happened to me and my loved ones that defy any worldly explanation, and I am trying to find balance in my life and struggle with it everyday (who doesn’t, right?).

I can “talk” to all of you about it here on this forum, but ask me to talk with somebody about it in person and I clam up (unless I am talking with my beloved “quack” of a marriage/personal counselor, Dr. Brown). I am afraid of being judged.

Will it help my marriage?

Will it help my parenting?

Will it help me find answers?

Will it help me find balance?

I don’t know.

What I do know is that doing what I am currently doing, Dr. Phil would probably ask me, “Now how’s that workin’ for ya’?”.

Is it possible to believe in God, but not believe in all the things the Bible teaches?

I read a lot of blogs written by Christian moms. I have a lot of friends who attend church regularly.

It’s worth a try, right?

Who knows…baby steps.  Maybe another Titus coffee before I jump in.

home is…sometimes not knowing where to turn.

pieces of me: summer 2003

I think it began in the summer of 2003.

Maybe it started before then.

I don’t know.

I can definitely point to 3 life altering events that happened beginning in the summer and continuing through the fall of 2003.

This is the first

Summer 2003:

I walked in on a burglary in progress in our home.

It was the middle of the afternoon. I think I had taken my sister to the car dealership to pick up her car, or drop it off. I was gone not more than 45 minutes. I took our dog Ben with me and then I was going to head home and do some painting in our house.

I was getting my paint supplies ready in the garage (we had an alley entry detached garage) and then walked towards the house. I noticed that our cat, Murphy had snuck out the back window that was cracked open. That was the first indication that something was wrong, but I didn’t notice it immediately.

I walked to the back door, unlocked it, and Ben ran in front of me. He was trained to not walk through doors before us, so this was the second indication that something was wrong.  Then he started growling. Ben barked a lot, but her never growled. This was the third indication that something was wrong.  I held him back and took a look into our kitchen…drawers were open and things were out of place.

I backed away from the house, went to the garage to get a rope to keep Ben with me, and called my husband. By this time I noticed that the screen was off the back window that the cat had escaped from and the window was open wide. Yes, I should have called 911 first, but I thought maybe something was wrong with Ryan and he had to break into the house.

He informed me that he was OK. I hung up the phone and called 911. I remember my voice being shaky and saying, “Yes, I think there is a burglary in progress at my home.”  I stayed in the backyard near the garage and waited for them to show up. It seemed like forever, but they were there in less than 3 minutes.

An officer came through the back gate, gun drawn, and approached me. They asked me a few questions and told me to stay put. Another officer had gone in through the front door, which was  now open. (It had not been open when I drove by the front of the house only a few minutes before)

The burglars took some large LL Bean totes that I had in the front guest bedroom and filled them with electronics and cash.  They had been in our bedroom (which was towards the back of the house) when I opened the back door.  The officers found one of our butcher knives either in our bedroom or living room (I can’t remember which now). They had used it to cut cable cords, but could have used it as a weapon had I gone into the house.

The burglars had left through the front door while I was in the backyard waiting for the police to come. A couple of months later they were caught. They had been burglarizing houses during the day by ringing the doorbell to see if anybody was home and entering through cracked windows, unlocked doors, etc. They were pawning or selling what they found and using the money for drugs.  It was a young man and woman.  The woman was 17 and pregnant.  They also had a young baby.

At the time, I just dealt with it. Did what I needed for the police and kept thinking how thankful I was that nobody got hurt. I felt sorry for the girl, her baby, and unborn child.

I asked Ryan to either get an alarm or another dog that could stay with me when he went hunting every weekend that fall. In November we had Oak flown out to Denver from our breeder and friend in Idaho. She was my constant companion from that Thanksgiving until last May.

What I didn’t deal with was the sense of violation I felt. I struggle with feeling safe…especially when I am alone. I never felt that way before this happened.

I started to feel fear.

home is…feeling the fear and doing it anyway.